A friend called the other day.  I hadn’t spoken to him in ages.

I was walking my dogs along a wonderfully beautiful road at the water’s edge.  It had been a perfect day… until it wasn’t.  

I was so excited to see his name across the screen of my phone.  The days when we talked often were back during a different lifetime, but they were some of the best years of my life. 

I almost always enjoy catching up with friends from days gone by. 

This was not that phone call.  

Alcoholism is such a horrible disease.  

Anxiety is such a significant contributor. 

My friend and I often shared our terrible, yet similar experiences in dealing with how these diseases manifested in those we love.   

I thought he had “won” his battle … those who don’t suffer, just don’t understand.  I can be so naive. 

Strange how we move so quickly from one bubble to the next.  A home here, a group of friends from within that bubble, a move, then a new bubble.  Life moves forward.  Our children grow up; we become busy. I mean, really busy.  

Soccer practice, volleyball practice, games, tourneys on the weekend, perhaps a few moments at the end of the day to breathe.  But this sacrifice of our own time is worth it? Right?!?!

No. We were too busy. We lost sight of the goalposts.  We weren’t multitasking… we were distracted.  We lost focus on what matters. 

Besides, our children are not going to be professional athletes…  

Our overscheduled culture bred out our children’s ability to be spontaneous.  Boredom is perceived as something to be avoided.  Not as a source of some of our most magnificent ideas. Creativity is lost. 

As parents, we lost too.  Friends matter.  COVID19 has shown us just how much we miss the company of others.  

We lost touch with some friends… some terrific friends. They didn’t fit neatly into our new, very busy bubbles.  Now in retrospect, I regret that enormously. 

My old friend was calling to tell me that our dear friend had lost his battle with addiction.  

My day was shattered.   

COVID19 has reminded all of us how dearly we rely on our social structure.  But building new rungs on our friendship ladder is not necessarily mechanically sound if the lower rungs representing friends from our past are rotting away.  

Call an old friend.  

 

Disclaimer:  this information is for your education and should not be considered medical advice regarding diagnosis or treatment recommendations. Some links on this page may be affiliate links. Read the full disclaimer.

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About the author:

Howard J. Luks, MD

Howard J. Luks, MD

A Board Certified Orthopedic Surgeon in Hawthorne, NY. Dr. Howard Luks specializes in the treatment of the shoulder, knee, elbow, and ankle. He has a very "social" patient centric approach and believes that the more you understand about your issue, the more informed your decisions will be. Ultimately your treatments and his recommendations will be based on proper communications, proper understanding, and shared decision-making principles – all geared to improve your quality of life.

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